In all seriousness… the healthcare system sucks!

Doctors tend to see my weight before they ever see me.
The moment I walk into an office for any medical reason, the first thing I hear is, “You need to lose weight.” It’s like damn doc… all I got is an ear ache lol..

But in all seriousness, I’ve been avoiding the doctor’s office like it’s the black plague. And honestly? That’s new for me. I’m usually the person who keeps up with yearly exams, I follow up when something feels off, and I genuinely strive to stay on top of my health. But lately, I avoid making appointments because I already know what’s waiting for me before I even sit on the exam table.

“Lose weight.”

Before the questions.
Before the testing.
Before the concern.
Before they even truly listen.

As a fat woman, especially a fat woman who has dealt with multiple health concerns, it becomes exhausting trying to convince medical professionals that my body deserves investigation beyond a number on a scale. Sometimes it feels like my weight enters the room before I do, swallowing every symptom whole.

Headaches? Weight.
Fatigue? Weight.
Irregular pain? Weight.
Mental health? Weight.
Existing in a body they don’t understand? Weight.

And the dangerous part about that is how many fat women are being misdiagnosed, dismissed, or ignored because doctors assume every issue begins and ends with size.

I know this personally.

I’ve been misdiagnosed before. I’ve had concerns minimized before. I’ve left appointments feeling embarrassed instead of cared for. And after enough experiences like that, fear starts replacing trust. You stop seeing the doctor as a place of healing and start seeing it as a place where your body will be judged before it’s cared for.

What makes this even more frustrating is that I have lost weight. 100 pounds, actually. I see the difference in my body every single day. I see the discipline. I see the effort. I see the changes. But somehow, in medical spaces, none of that seems to matter. It’s almost like no amount of progress is enough once your body has already been categorized.

And I think that’s what hurts the most.

Not just being told to lose weight but realizing that some medical professionals struggle to see fat patients as people deserving of nuanced, compassionate care right now, not just after they become smaller.

Fat people deserve thorough examinations.
We deserve doctors who listen.
We deserve care that isn’t rooted in shame.
We deserve to be seen outside of assumptions.

Because healthcare should not feel like punishment for existing in a larger body.

Somewhere along the way, many fat women learned that going to the doctor meant preparing to defend our humanity instead of simply discussing our health. And that reality is heartbreaking.

I don’t need doctors to ignore my weight completely. I understand that weight can impact health. But what I do need is balance. I need medical professionals who understand that my body is more complex than a BMI chart. Which please… don’t even get me started on that outdated bullshit. I need them to realize that fat patients can have unrelated illnesses, real pain, hormonal disorders, chronic conditions, and valid concerns that deserve deeper investigation.

I need them to see me before they see my body.

With love

K 🩷